We all have wants–and if you want people to see your little “youtubes”, you best throw us some dough, capisce?

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Siobhan – Siobhan Thompson
Joey – Mike Trapp
Sal – Zac Oyama
Alfonso – Grant O’Brien
Cynthia – Cynthia Kao

Director – Matt Enlow
Producer – Julia Bales
Writer – Siobhan Thompson
Cinematography – Julia Swain
Editor – Sam Geer
President of Original Content – Sam Reich
Vice President of Production / Executive Producer – Spencer Griffin
Director of Production – Sam Sparks
Supervising Producer – Alex Edge
Costume Designer – Patrick Glendening
Production Coordinator – Shane Crown
B Camera Operator – Ben Molyneux
1st Assistant Camera – Ana Flores
2nd Assistant Camera / DIT – Carlos Lopez
Gaffer – Kevin Mayorga
Key Grip – Will Ramsey
Production Sound – Matt Kendrick of BoTown Sound
VFX Artist – Chris Rutherford
Assistant Editor – Marissa Melnyk
Post Production Supervisor – Stephanie Zorn
Head Assistant Editor – Phil Fox
Licensing and Programming Coordinator – Theodora Hart
Production Legal – Karen Segall
Production Accountant – Shay Parsons
Production Accountant – Chetera Bell
Production Intern – Grace Earley
Post Production Intern – Marissa Melnyk

Assistant Editor: Marissa Melnyk
Editor: Sam Geer
Visual Effects: Chris Rutherford
Post Supervisor: Stephanie Zorn

(ticking) (sigh) – I guess I'll check Facebook? (door opening) – Well, well, well. – Knock, knock. – [Man In White Hat] Looks like somebody's checking Facebook, huh? – Oh my God, it's the Facebook algorithm. – Who? – They control everything, the feed, what you see, what you don't see. – What's it to ya? – Nothing. I deleted my account, I swear. – Arf! (whimpering) – Goodbye, Siobhan. – Hmm, this a nice place you got here. Oh, yeah, real nice place. – Thanks? – Hey, do me a quick favor. Take a look at this article. – Strawberries are bad for you, but not for the reasons you think? – Yeah, what do you think of that? – It's okay? – Okay? Are you sure you don't like it? Be a real shame if you didn't like it. – I like it. I like it, it's good, I like it! – Oh, you hear that? She likes it! – She's a fan. – [Man In White Hat]
She likes the article. Well, if you like it so much, here's a hundred more. – Oh, my God! That is so many articles. – You're welcome. – I don't… Look, I just went on Facebook to see how my best friend
from England is doing. – Oh, your friend from England. – [Man In White Hat] Friend from England. – Oh, is this your friend
from England right here? – Yeah. – Wow, very pretty girl. You don't see her anymore! (laughter) – [ Man In White Hat]
Hey, ask her what else she wants to see, yeah? – I'm going to, you idiot. Excuse me, mademoiselle. You have anything else
you would like to view? – Um, my friend Rachel just had a baby. – Oh, her friend Rachel. – Her friend Rachel, wow. She had a baby, okay. You wanna see a picture of her baby? – Yes? – Okay, how bout a picture of your high school bully's baby? (laughing) – I'm not even friends with her! – Yes you are! – Oh, you friended her way back when and just forgot about it, and we brought it up again for no reason. – God, she looks just like her. That's so many bad memories. – Hey, let me do it. I'm your friend, see. I'll show you whatever you wanna see, see? What d'ya wanna see? – My friend Avery just got a puppy. Maybe a video of the puppy? – Okay. – Okay? – Okay. – Okay, okay. – But first, you gotta look at 50 articles your friend's mother shared
about mercury in vaccines. – No! (laughing) No, why, why are you doing this to me? – Cause we're protecting you! – [Man In Gold Hat] Yeah,
we're protecting you. – I just wanna go back to
the old linear timeline. – [Man In White Hat]
Hey, we all have wants. And if you want people to be able to see your little YouTubes, you best throw us some dough, okay? – Oh, no. All right, we'll be back next week. We'll see ya then. Toodles. (gasp) (door closing) – Well, I guess I still have Instagram. (shouting) – You didn't think it'd be that easy, huh? – Hi, I'm Siobhan from College Humor. Click over here to subscribe, and click here for more fun stuff, ya filthy animals. I was abandoned in this office when I was ten years old by my parents. I've only eaten pizza
for such a long time. I think I have scurvy.

34 thoughts on “Facebook’s Algorithm is Like the Mafia

  1. Unfollow everyone I want to unfollow hide all articles I dislike AND all ads I dislike. Eventually the algorithm gets it… 90% accurate… Then again there s not much left on Facebook for me other than the Economist and local events…

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